Archives

Aug132015

Detachment, fine tuning focus

It is certainly permitted and even expedient for beginners to find sweetness and pleasure in images, oratories, and other visible objects of devotion, since they have not yet weaned their desire from things of the world, so that they can leave one pleasure for the other. They are like a child holding something in one of its hands; to make it loosen its hold on it we give it something else to hold in the other hand in case it should cry because both hands are empty.

But the spiritual person who would make progress must rid himself of all the pleasures and desires in which the will can rejoice. Pure spirituality is bound little to any of those objects, but only to interior recollection and mental conversation with God. Although he makes use of images and oratories, he does so only fleetingly; his spirit at once comes to rest in God and he forgets all things of the senses. –St John of the Cross ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’ presented by Henry L. Carrigan Jr.

St John of the Cross Adoring

St John of the Cross Adoring

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Aug062015

Prayer expansion to the passive

…the soul at this point now has both the substance and the habit of the spirit of meditation.  The goal of reasoning and meditation on the things of God is gaining some knowledge and love of God.  Each time that the soul gains this through meditation, there is an action.  And just as many actions, of whatever kind, end by forming a habit in the soul, many of these actions of loving knowledge that the soul has been making one after another from time to time come through repetition to be so continuous in it that they become habitual.

God wants souls to achieve this end without the intervention of actions by setting them at once in contemplation.  So what previously the soul was gaining gradually through its labor of meditation on particular facts has now through practice changed into a habit of loving knowledge, of a general kind, and not distinct as before.

Therefore, when the soul gives itself to prayer it is now like one to whom water has been brought, so that he drinks peacefully, without labor, and is no longer forced to draw the water through the aqueducts of past meditations and forms and figures.  Then, as soon as the soul comes before God, it makes an act of knowledge, loving, passive, and tranquil, in which it drinks of wisdom and love and delight.  –St John of the Cross ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’ presented by Henry L. Carrigan Jr.

featured_rain@wdd2x

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Aug052015

A return to the Ascent

Natural knowledge in the memory consists in all the kinds of knowledge that the memory can form concerning the objects of the physical senses—hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch. The soul must empty itself of all these forms of knowledge and strive to lose their imaginary achievements, so that there may be left in it no impression of knowledge or the trace of anything at all.  Rather, the soul must remain barren, as if those forms had never passed through it, and in total forgetfulness and suspension.

This cannot happen unless the memory is reduced to nothing in all its forms in order to be united with God.  It cannot happen except by a total separation from everything that is not God.  God does not come under any definite form or kind of knowledge in dealing with the night of the understanding.  Christ says: No one can serve two masters.  So the memory cannot be united both with God and with knowledge.  Since God has no form or image that can be comprehended by the memory, then when the memory is united with God it remains without form.  Divine union empties its imagination, sweeps it clean of all forms of knowledge, and raises it to the supernatural.

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The operations of the soul in divine union are from the Holy Spirit; the actions of such souls are only those that are seemly and reasonable.  God’s Spirit teaches them what they ought to know and causes them to be ignorant of what they ought not to know, to remember what they have to remember, and to forget what they should forget.  It makes them love what they have to love, and not to love what does not pertain to God….  This spiritual person needs habitually to practice caution: Everything that he hears, sees, smells, tastes, or touches, he must be careful not to store up or collect in his memory, but he must allow himself to forget them immediately.

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The first evil (through memory) and, which comes from the world, consists in the souls subjection, through knowledge and reflection, too many kinds of harm, such as falsehoods, imperfections, desires, opinions, loss of time, and many other things that breed impurity in the soul…..The soul is free from all these things if the memory enters into darkness with respect to every kind of reflection and knowledge.

Imperfections meet the soul at every stop if it sets the memory on what it has heard, seen, touched, smelled, and tasted.  If it does, some sort of feeling has to cling to it, whether pain, fear, hatred, vain hope, or vain enjoyment…..Many occasions of judging others will also come, since in using its memory, the soul cannot fail to discover the good and the bad in others…..  There is no one who can completely free himself from all these kinds of evil, except by blinding the memory and leading it into darkness with regard to all these things.

Let the soul, then, remain “enclosed,” without anxieties and troubles; and the One who entered in physical form to his disciples when the doors were shut and gave them peace, though they neither thought that this was possible nor knew how it was possible, will venture spiritually into the soul without its knowing how he does so, when the doors of its faculties—memory, understanding, and will—are enclosed against all things.  He will fill them with peace coming down on the soul, as the prophet says, like a river, taking it from all the misgivings, suspicions, disturbances, and darkness that caused it to fear that it was lost or was or was on the way to being so.  Let it not grow careless about prayer, and let it wait in detachment from the world and in emptiness, for its blessings will not be long in coming.

–St John of the Cross ‘Ascent of Mount Carmel’ presented by Henry L. Carrigan Jr.

St John of the Cross Adoring

St John of the Cross Adoring

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Jul092015

Gratefulness and poetry

Retreat center, my room far left second floor bay windows.

Retreat center, my room far left, second floor bay windows.

Thursday morning, looks like another rainy day, loving everything. Splendor in ambiance, this room supplies space to contemplate and adore. The Our Lady of the Pines website identifies my room as the McAuley Room. No wonder I’m developing such an affection for the saint. There is a stairwell next to my room, mid-travel she waits, posed in a painting (same image posted). At the bottom of the stairs stands a superb St Joseph statue. I start my day with prayers to St Joseph, seeking guidance for manliness; the embodying of strength within wisdom, gentleness, and kindness. Ascending and descending to my room: Holy Water, sign of the cross, the chapel: kneeling in prayer and a greeting to the Eucharist reposed in the Tabernacle a part. The retreat center, a mansion, was constructed in 1874 by a wealthy local jeweler Lewis Leppleman as a single family dwelling.

Last night a unique communal prayer session occurred. I saw a posting, yet when I walked by I felt hesitant, abstaining. The chapel was filled with thirty sisters, no men. I walked away content not to take part. I spoke with the night front desk clerk, attaining a multi electrical outlet strip. Walking past one of the sisters smiled in a welcoming greeting. In my room, a sense I should go to the prayer group settled in. I responded, forcing myself to go. I am a coward in presenting myself. Down the steps, I suddenly decided to act like I had no intention of going into the chapel, walking to the front lobby. Once in the lobby, registering my cowardly behavior, I consoled myself with the thought that they could not have me arrested. Once at the chapel, I held my breath, spotting an open seat by the front door. I crossed myself with Holy Water, genuflected and sat myself as inconspicuously as one can be when one is blatantly conspicuous. I blocked everything out, going into meditation, prepared for one of the sisters to tell me it was for religious sisters only. None did. I opened my eyes, feeling really awkward being the only male, plus nonreligious. I noticed several chuckling, finding amusement in my distress. One warm smile forthrightly announced welcome before standing and leading the prayer session. It was interesting, a meditation upon our hands. The thought of my hands. Where my hands have been.  What they have touched. What they have created. What they have destroyed. What they have loved. Through my hands many things have been done. My hands as a baby, soft and supple. The thought of the hands of my friend Janet, now ninety-six preparing for an end. The thought of the healing hands of Christ. ‘The Kingdom of God is at hand’.

There are intentional thoughts, arguments, I dismiss, refuse to address. The sisters are taking me in, having welcomed me spiritually. Deeply within their silence, I find peace. I am grateful and pleased. God is showing me something. I needed their maturity. Their refined formation. Their years of service. Their silence. See how nature–trees, flowers, grass–grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence…We need silence to be able to touch souls (Blessed Mother Teresa). It is not a concept, something to tell others. It is reality.

I thought of Father David Mary, my time with him in the friary, almost two years of acquaintance. Those who know me know I have whined about Father David Mary. Let’s be clear his community is authentic, mature formation. He is a priest of power and might, wielding an effective animated message, invigorating especially for young people. Young people adore him and his friars. Softball games breakout, heated dodgeball games are waged, and a Saturday evening Sunday vigil youth mass always resounds with praise–youthful hearts raised in beating. The friar’s daily experience possesses a level of religious devotion and daily living steadfast within the Holy Spirit. They are being formed through a devout pious superior process. Few will encounter such a life. Father David Mary, his friars, and sister community of Poor Clares are heavy hitters within the Catholic Church, functioning at a spiritual level few can comprehend. It is not superior skills or intellect that elevates their daily lives. It is community service, humble devotion, continual prayer-including two daily Holy Hours, transforming fun-loving camaraderie, living detached from worldly matters, an absolute dedication to the spiritual life consecrated to the Church, an unconditional obedience to Catholicism, a striving to grow in faith, hope, and charity. Apropos words from St John of the Cross: Charity, too, causes a void in the will regarding all things, since it obliges us to love God above everything. A man has to withdraw his affection from all in order to center it wholly upon God. Christ says through St Luke: “He who does not renounce all that he possesses with his will cannot be my disciple”. (Luke 14:33) Upon this retreat, watching rain once again pelt my tremendous bay window, I realize God has blessed me once again with people functioning on a high spiritual level.

Franciscans

I determined this post would be short, trying to hold to my conviction. Other writing calls. My spiritual director and I are bonding. Daily, I meet with her for an hour. She is affirming so much, providing inspiration and guiding, challenging yet broadening, assisting in disarming. Who am I? I am Catholic to become holy. I am not Catholic to determine and enforce dogma, to impose duelistic self-will. I am not Catholic through self-love, the need to be recognized as an authority or intellectual, a searcher of social worlds to dally within; sweet consolations, reputation, and the pursuit of accolades are rejected. Something deeper draws me inward. As Father Roger declares, ‘Are you truly being transformed through your faith?’ Does my conduct draw me closer to Christ? Defining the question by what it is not. It does not ask: Do you know more? Do you write poems? Do you have the right opinions? Do you go on retreats? Do you do more? Do you go to mass more? Father Roger simply asks: Am I being transformed? My spiritual director understands my concerns; my strengths and weaknesses. My interest in poetry, prompted the suggestion I employ myself in the effort of writing Haiku poetry. Simple three line poems: first line five syllables, second line seven, and third line five. Tears come to my eyes, I worked for hours producing fifty. She touched something dear and close to my inner most being. She opened me. Strangely a quote from Crane Hart, of all places, comes to my mind: ‘One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment’.

Faith in things unseen
Beyond intellect achieve
Within God center

Hope blank memory
Unpossessed beautiful things
Await gratefully

Love avert free will
Embrace brothers and sisters
God royally reigns

Wisdom clarity
Eternal uncreated
In love resound truth

Gentleness true strength
Reign in sensitivity
Jesus’ soft touch

Chastity Christ like.
Mother Mary obedient
Joseph most chaste spouse

Balanced vigilance
Eyes present gazing intent
A white owl aware

Unknown unnamed God.
Beware man wanders hunting
Empty the ocean

Prayerful tendering
Hollow gentle persuasion
Care full infusion

Grateful spacious room
Our Lady of the Pines shines
Loving light reveal

Understanding see
Revealed, discursive thinking
Biblical teaching

Self-control discipline
Charioteer cracks the whip
Appease strong horses

A vow, a life lived
A sister’s silent intent
Christ’s majestic hand

Scripture, Mercy Seat
Old and new softly alight
Cherubim, wings touch

Francis dreamed knightly
A poor lady came weeping
A leper kissing

NOTE: For the sake of phone app viewing I was forced to format as I did. My website building skills are limited. I find little pleasure in researching or expanding my skills. I stated last week I was going to organize and expand this website, however I feel God is taking me in another direction. I am trying to spend only relevant time upon the blog.

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May212015

Precaution and Counsel (Repost)

The first precaution is to understand that you have come to the monastery so that all may fashion you and try you. Thus, to free yourself from the imperfections and disturbances that can be engendered by the mannerisms and attitudes of the religious and draw profit from every occurrence, you should think that all in the community are artisans…present there in order to prove you; that some will fashion you with words, others by deeds, and others with thoughts against you; and that in all this you must be submissive as is the statue to the craftsman who molds it, to the artist who paints it, and to the gilder who embellishes it.

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…counsel is wholly necessary for a religious, that he fulfill the obligations of his state and find genuine humility, inward quietude, and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you do not practice this, you will neither know how to be a religious nor even why you came to the religious life. Neither will you know how to seek Christ (but only yourself), nor find peace of soul, nor avoid sinning and often feeling troubled. .

–St John of the Cross

St John of the Cross Adoring

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May142015

Precaution and Counsel

The first precaution is to understand that you have come to the monastery so that all may fashion you and try you. Thus, to free yourself from the imperfections and disturbances that can be engendered by the mannerisms and attitudes of the religious and draw profit from every occurrence, you should think that all in the community are artisans…present there in order to prove you; that some will fashion you with words, others by deeds, and others with thoughts against you; and that in all this you must be submissive as is the statue to the craftsman who molds it, to the artist who paints it, and to the gilder who embellishes it.

….

…counsel is wholly necessary for a religious, that he fulfill the obligations of his state and find genuine humility, inward quietude, and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you do not practice this, you will neither know how to be a religious nor even why you came to the religious life. Neither will you know how to seek Christ (but only yourself), nor find peace of soul, nor avoid sinning and often feeling troubled. .

–St John of the Cross

St John of the Cross Adoring

St John of the Cross Adoring

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May032015

A weekend of defining, living, concluding

The breathing of the air,
the song of the sweet nightingale,
the grove and its living beauty
in the serene night,
with a flame that is consuming and painless.
–St John of the Cross, ‘Spiritual Canticle’

Patience a virtue. Christ awaits the return of His children. Forgive my trespasses Lord Jesus. Many times I have tested You. I deserve the wrath of Your hand, But You see greater things: Your patience enormous! Grant me a droplet of Your endurance. Grant me the fortitude and strength to abolish my impious impatience, able to reflect Your serenity. Great is the Lord Jesus in wisdom! Holy Mother, sheltering with your mantle, accompany me.

A time of living, solid in faith, building upon hope, loving all the time. I felt the need to live strong this weekend, experiencing and aware, healthy while building, prayerful the whole time. Silent and still before the Eucharist is easy. Living in the world is the difficult part. This weekend I consumed and participated, remaining distant, knowing God calls at all times. I am no Saint Faustina. In all my awkwardness, I have begged for a sign. Some have been given, signs appearing, yet definitive direction remains amiss. Life unfolds as a mystery.

St Faustina tells of marvelous spiritual direction:

“Once I was at a dance with one of my sisters and while everybody was having a good time, my soul was experiencing internal torments. As I began to dance, I suddenly saw Jesus at my side, Jesus racked with pain, stripped of his clothing, covered all over with wounds, who spoke these words to me, “How long shall I suffer and how long will you keep on deceiving Me?” At that moment a charming music stopped, and my company vanished from my sight; there remained Jesus and I. I took a seat by my dear sister, pretending to have a headache in order to cover up what took place in my soul. After a while, I slipped out unnoticed, leaving my sister and all my companions behind, and made my way to the Cathedral of Saint Stanislaus Kostka (Lodz). It was almost twilight; there were only a few people in the cathedral. Paying no attention to what was happening around me, I fell prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament and begged the Lord to be good enough to give me to understand what I should do next.

Then I heard these words, “Go at once to Warsaw (Poland), you will enter a convent there”.  I rose from prayer, came home, and took care of things that needed to be settled. As best I could, I confided to my sister what took place within my soul. I told her to say good-bye to our parents, and thus, in one dress, with no other belongings, I arrived in Warsaw

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