Insouciant: free from concern, worry, or anxiety, carefree, nonchalant.
Quote: But for his thoughtful diagnosis of the perils that lay before me, I should at this juncture have been deep in the mulligatawny and no hope of striking for the shore. As it was, I was able to be nonchalant, insouciant, and debonair. I was like the fellow I once heard Jeeves speak of who was armed so strong in honesty that somebody’s threats passed by him as the idle wind, which he respected not. — P. G. Wodehouse, Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves, 1962
The above definition and quote originates from my word of the day emailed by dictionary.com. The message coalesced nicely with spiritual meditations. Easy does it as the ways of God call forth not a forcing. Purity, peace, and prayer; maintaining in order to allow my relationship with Christ to define discernment. Purity in the sense of behavior, thought, and internal peace. I feel the need to bring a spiritual director into my life, one focused acutely upon the paths of a religious or lay person life. There is a fork in the road and a path must be chosen. I want a choice made by the start of the coming year, eliminating one or the other. I do not want to vacillate, living with my foot placed in two doors, serving two masters in direction. I met with Father Roger from St Paul Shrine today on the subject. We have not spoken for some time. We centered conversation upon the direction of my life and confession. His spiritual direction, adhering to the advice of John the Hermit, placed purity, prayer, and presence at the heart of the matter. Presence in the continual keeping of God within daily activity could only be accomplished through purity and prayer. Father Roger kept using the word unfolding, allowing the direction of my life to naturally proclaim itself. I am not reacting. I am not doing things based upon imperfect self-will. Holding to the awareness gifted recently in mass that an elevation would occur, I allow patience within a choice to guide, moving forward slowly and surely in action. John the Hermit emerges as a voice calling forth the religious life–the consecrated life of a cloistered man of prayer. The communal aspect of a working man amidst a parish of families develops through my interaction at St Clare and Sacred Heart. The men’s group biweekly providing intimate challenging fellowship. During the quickly advancing Lenten season, I have signed up for a weekly meeting, Arise Together in Christ, a small gathering of people to discuss, well lets allow the St Clare bulletin to define:
What is: ARISE Together in Christ? It is an opportunity to come together in a small group, 8-10 adults, in an informal setting to grow in your faith, to experience meaningful relationships and discover connections between faith and your daily life.
The 6 topics for the Lenten Season: Change Our Hearts are: 1.) Repent and Believe the Good News, 2.) God’s Beloved, 3.) Thirsting for New Life, 4.) From Darkness to Light, 5.) Bound Together by a Promise, and 6.) Into Holy Week with Christ.
Why Small Groups? They help us find time and space to sort out the demands of our complicated, busy lives through prayer, Scripture readings, reflection, community building and by deepening our faith together. You gather as a sharing group, open to the Spirit of God, seeking to grow in faith and in your relationship with God and one another.
Overall, the elevation announced by God in a small quiet voice is sought through maturity and refinement; an eliminating as well as an expanding effort. The Hospice called today placing a bedside vigil upon my plate. The ability to serve reemerges, a period away allowing reinvigoration and proper nurturing of myself. I will be going to Chardon, Ohio tomorrow, celebrating an early mass at St Mary’s before spending the morning and afternoon in prayer with a Jewish woman of faith. All I know beyond her faith is that she is dying and alone. She is in her nineties and her only daughter will not be in town until she passes.
Preparing to leave for work, a voice mail calls out. Vigil tomorrow is cancelled. The patient passed away. Even the thought provides depth; a reminder of death, mystery, and uncertainty within the following of God. Returning the call, I was pleased to learn I have been scheduled for hands-on training, the attaining of certification allowing me to bath and feed patients.