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From Darkness to Authentic Love

Brothers and sisters,
I could not talk to you as spiritual people,
but as fleshly people, as infants in Christ.
I fed you milk, not solid food,
because you were unable to take it.
Indeed, you are still not able, even now,
for you are still of the flesh.
While there is jealousy and rivalry among you,
are you not of the flesh, and walking
according to the manner of man?

Epistle of Paul: First Corinthians

And hence arises the love of its neighbours, for it esteems them, and judges them not as it was wont to do aforetime, when it saw that itself had great fervour and others not so. It is aware only of its own wretchedness, which it keeps before its eyes to such an extent that it never forgets it, nor takes occasion to set its eyes on anyone else. This was described wonderfully by David, when he was in this night, in these words: ‘I was dumb and was humbled and kept silence from good things and my sorrow was renewed.’ This he says because it seemed to him that the good that was in his soul had so completely departed that not only did he neither speak nor find any language concerning it, but with respect to the good of others he was likewise dumb because of his grief at the knowledge of his misery. –St John of the Cross ‘Dark Night of the Soul’.

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Discernment

Brothers and sisters:
The Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God.
Among men, who knows what pertains to the man
except his spirit that is within?
Similarly, no one knows what pertains to God except the Spirit of God.
We have not received the spirit of the world
but the Spirit who is from God,
so that we may understand the things freely given us by God.
And we speak about them not with words taught by human wisdom,
but with words taught by the Spirit,
describing spiritual realities in spiritual terms.

Now the natural man does not accept what pertains to the Spirit of God,
for to him it is foolishness, and he cannot understand it,
because it is judged spiritually.
The one who is spiritual, however, can judge everything
but is not subject to judgment by anyone.

For “who has known the mind of the Lord, so as to counsel him?”
But we have the mind of Christ.

Epistle of Paul: First Corinthians

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Ordinary Monday

When I came to you, brothers and sisters,
proclaiming the mystery of God,
I did not come with sublimity of words or of wisdom.
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you
except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
I came to you in weakness and fear and much trembling,
and my message and my proclamation
were not with persuasive words of wisdom,
but with a demonstration of spirit and power,
so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom
but on the power of God.

Epistle of Paul: First Corinthians

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Prayerfully attending

During fellowship over the weekend, coinciding with reoccurring conversations, there is a focus upon current events, politics and the madness of the world. Names like Michael Voris—Church Militant, Michael Matt—Remnant Newspaper, conspiracy theories, speculation upon the end of the world, the importance of President Trump’s reelection, globalist and active principalities, demonic influence, Satanic efforts, and the anti-Christ. My gut instinct is to quietly recite to myself: “NO! NO! NO! Spiritually, I refuse to be brought into the insanity.” This morning a personal reading brought forth insight.

…in the order of grace, the nothingness into which I relapse when left to myself is sin. How often “I am brought to nothing, and I knew not.” And what can I find to be proud of in that nothingness?

Give me grace, O my God, to know myself only as much as is necessary to keep me humble. If I fully realized the insignificance of my own being and the extent of my malice which is capable of offending Thee in diverse inconceivable ways, I fear I should be so filled with horror at myself that I should give way to despair!

We have within ourselves, in our own experience and feelings, a knowledge of how greatly our frail and fallen nature is inclined to evil. Today we go and confess certain of our faults, making the resolution not to fall into them again, and tomorrow not withstanding we commit them once more.

At one moment we make up our minds to acquire a certain virtue, and the next we do just the contrary by falling into the opposite vice. At the time when we make these resolutions of amendment we imagine that our will is firm and strong, but we soon perceive how weak and unreliable it is, for we behave as though we had never purposed amendment at all.

Our heart is like a reed that bends before every wind, or a barque (sailing ship) tossed by every wave. It is sufficient to meet with an occasion of sin, a movement of passion, a breath of temptation, for the will to yield to evil even when in certain moments of fervor we seem most firmly rooted in good. This is a strong reason for us to be humble and not to presume anything of ourselves, praying to God continually that He may deign to confirm in our hearts that which He works through His grace. “Confirm, O God, what Thou hast wrought in us.” •

Some masters of the spiritual life teach that it is better to divert our thoughts from certain heroic actions in which our weakness might lead us to doubt whether we should succeed or not; for example: if a persecutor should come and summon me either to renounce the faith or to die, how should I act? or, if I were to receive a terrible public insult, should I .practice patience or resentment? No, they say it is not well to indulge in such imaginings because our weakness may cause us to fall before the idea of such a trial. But should such thoughts arise, we can turn them to our good and use our very weakness to practice humility. When such ideas occur it would be well to say: I know what I ought to do on such and such an occasion, but I know not how far I can trust myself, because I know by personal experience that “my strength is weakened through poverty,” and I have learnt on several occasions how my reason becomes blinded, my judgement weakened,’ and my will often perverted easily to evil. O my God, I can do all things if I am strengthened by Thy help; but without this I can do nothing, nor shall I ever be able to do anything! If I had to confess Thee I should miserably deny Thee; if to honor Thee by patience I should give way to vengeance; if I had to obey Thee I should offend Thee by disobedience. “Thou art a Strong helper: when my strength shall fail, do not Thou forsake me.” Thy saying is true, 0 my God: “Without Me you can do nothing.” Not only without Thee can I never do any meritorious act of virtue whatsoever, but I cannot do anything at all; as St Augustine instructs: “Whether it be little or whether it be great, it cannot be done without Him without whom nothing can be done.” –”Humility of Heart” by Capuchin Gaetano (Cajetan) Maria da Bergamo

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Weekend wrap-up

I enjoyed a weekend plentiful in fellowship, an aspect of faith I am committed to pursuing. Saturday morning started events with a men’s prayer group, followed by a breakfast blessed with jovial conversation. Two county sheriffs were in attendance. Their welcome sense of humor I found agreeable and contagious. It is comforting to enjoy faith that does not take itself too seriously, nor fixated upon self-elevation. Intentional or unintentional, conversation overwhelmed by opinions—overly-critical and authoritative, the determination to be right, or overly obsessed with politics I find burdensome. There is a wisdom to light-heartedness, a humble and trusting approach, few are able to embrace during these troubling times, especially for those concentrating upon an advanced approach to faith. St John of the Cross writes: “Abide in peace, banish cares, take no account of all that happens, and you will serve God according to His good pleasure and rest in Him.” Sunday was dedicated to a picnic with a prayer group I have been acquainted with for some time. Pleasantly, intimacy and sharing matures. The food was excellent, conversation flowed, and the newly released ‘Fatima’ movie viewed. I am pleased with the grace of enjoying the company of others. Solitary throughout my life, I perceive on the natural level I am growing with the ability to easily and comfortably fit in with others. There is no struggle, insecurity, over-sensitive self-consciousness, nor arrogance—proper and orderly.

Lord, I am willing to be meek and mild,
in order to love You greater.
Lord, I am willing to appease wrath,
to dissipate the desire for righteousness,
in order to love You greater.
Lord, I am willing to be wrong,
willing to be mediocre,
in order to love You greater.
Lord, I am willing to be grateful rather than demanding,
in order to love You greater.

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