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The Knight of God –Henry Suso poetry

“For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” Acts ix. 16

As the song of him who singeth,
Playing on a harp of gold,
So to me was Christ’s evangel
In the days of old.

Thus across the lake of Constance
Went I forth to preach His Word,
And beside me sat the squire
Of a noble Lord.

None in all the ship so knightly,
None so bravely dight as he-
“Tell me,” I besought, “thine errand
Yonder o’er the sea.”

“I go forth,” he said, “to gather
Many a knight and noble bold;
They shall tilt at joust and tourney,
Whilst fair eyes behold.

“And the bravest and the noblest
He shall win a glorious prize,
Smiles to boot, and courtly favour
In the ladies’ eyes.”

“Tell me what shall be the guerdon?”
“Lo, the fairest in the land
Sets a gold ring on his finger
With her lily hand.”

“Tell me how the knight may win it?”
“Scars and bruises must he boast,
For the knight shall be the winner
Who endures the most.”

“Tell me, if when first assaulted,
He in knightly guise shall stand,
Shall he win the golden guerdon
From his lady’s hand?”

“Nay, right on, till all is over,
Must a worthy knight hold on;
Bear the brunt, and stand a conqueror
When the fight is done.”

“And if he be wounded sorely,
Will he weep and will he mourn?”
“Nay, in place of winning honour,
He would win but scorn.”

Then my spirit sank within me,
And within my heart I spake-
“O my Lord, thus fight the knightly
For their honour’s sake.

“Small the prize, and stern the battle,
Worthless gain, and weary fight-
Lord, a ring of stones most precious
Hast thou for Thy knight!

“Oh, to be the knight of Jesus!
Scorning pain, and shame, and loss;
There the crown, the joy, the glory,
Here, O Lord, Thy Cross.”

Then I wept, with bitter longing
Thus the knight of God to be;
And the Lord, who saw me weeping,
Gave the cross to me.

Bitter pain, and shame, and sorrow
Came upon me as a flood-
I forgot it was the tourney
Of the knights of God.

And again I wept, beseeching,
“Take the Cross, O Lord, from me!”
Till a light broke like the morning
Over the wild sea.

Then there spake the Voice beloved,
Still and sweet my heart within-
“is it thus, O knight of Jesus,
Thou the prize wilt win?”

“O my Lord, the fight is weary-
Weary, and my heart is sore!”
“And,” he answered, “fair the guerdon,
And for evermore.”

“I have shamed Thee, craven-hearted,
I have been Thy recreant knight-
Own me yet, O Lord, albeit
Weeping whilst I fight.”

“Nay,” He said; “yet wilt thou shame Me
Wilt thou shame thy knightly guise?
I would have My angels wonde
At thy gladsome eyes.

“Need’st thou pity, knight of Jesus?-
Pity for thy glorious hest?
On! let God and men and angels
See that thou art blest!

In the middle ages, the knight was the heroic figure men aspired to be in fantasy and deed–a life of bravery and honor. Chivalry demanded a code of ethics–manliness included virtuous conduct and thought, fighting the good fight, speaking words of wisdom, generosity, and kindness. In a world of brutality and wicked tongues, the knight righteously matched violence with violence, cruelty with compassion and intelligence. The defenseless were to be protected, the weak to be venerated, respected and sheltered. A true knight’s every effort was to God and others. In tournaments, the battlefield and life, a knight dedicated his efforts to a chosen damsel. The lady of honor acknowledging his respect by tying a scarf to the knight’s jousting lance or armory. St Francis aspired to be a knight in his younger days, before turning his heroic efforts over to the religious life. His lady of honor became Lady Poverty, captured so lovingly, allegorically, and fantastically in ‘Sacrum commercium Sancti Francisci cum domina Paupertate’ (The Sacred Bond of Saint Francis with Lady Poverty). The idea leads so fittingly into a devotion to Our Holy Mother.

Knight Praying

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The Finding –Henry Suso poetry

Now have I seen Thee and found Thee,
For Thou hast found Thy sheep;
I fled, but Thy love would follow–
I strayed, but Thy grace would keep.
Thou hast granted my heart’s desire–
Most blest of the blessed is he
Who findeth no rest and no sweetness
Till he rests, O Lord, in Thee.

O Lord, Thou seest, Thou knowest,
That to none my heart can tell
The joy and the love and the sorrow,
The tale that my heart knows well.
But to Thee, O my God, I can tell it–
To Thee, and to Thee, Lord, alone;
For Thy heart my heart hath a language,
For other hearts it hath none.

In the wide world, speechless and lonely,
For me is no heart but Thine;
Lord, since I must love Thee only,
Oh reveal Thy heart to mine.
“Wouldst thou know My glory, beloved?
Know Me, the great I AM?
First must thine eyes behold Me,
The slain and the stricken Lamb.

“My visage so marred more than any,
My form than the sons of men;
Yet to the heart I have won Me,
I am the fairest then.
Thou knowest the sun by his glory–
Thou knowest the rose by her breath,
Thou knowest the fire by its glowing–
Thou knowest My love by death.

“Wouldst thou know in My great creation
Where the rays of My glory meet?
Where to My awful righteousness
The kiss of My peace is sweet?
Where shine forth the wisdom and wonder
Of God’s everlasting plan?
Behold on the cross of dishonour
A cursed and a dying Man.

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Christ the Shepherd

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Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants,
beyond my fears, from death into life.

God is my shepherd, so nothing I shall want,
I rest in the meadows of faithfulness and love,
I walk by the quiet waters of peace.

Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants,
beyond my fears, from death into life.

I recall in the friary reading the prophet Ezekiel for what seemed like endless days. There was something strange about the reading. Intent upon completing the book, words began to drag, sentence after sentence meaningless in interpretation. Holy Hours went by with nothing happening, my efforts seemingly futile. I persevered, moving forward with or without consolations. Then I came to chapter thirty-four. Lights turned on, everything became profound, self-consciousness disappeared, awareness emerged. The idea of God being the shepherd, the ultimate necessity of Jesus expanded. The words took on life, protecting and sheltering, bringing forth tears of relief.

Thus says the Lord GOD…shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the crippled you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered, they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill; my sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them. “Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: As I live, says the Lord GOD, because my sheep have become a prey, and my sheep have become food for all the wild beasts, since there was no shepherd; and because my shepherds have not searched for my sheep, but the shepherds have fed themselves, and have not fed my sheep; therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: Thus says the Lord GOD, Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my sheep at their hand, and put a stop to their feeding the sheep; no longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them. “For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock…I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will make them lie down, says the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the crippled, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will watch over;…

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Prayer guidance and inspiration from Suso

Form the suffering of Christ crucified within oneself, His sweet teachings, His gentle conduct, and His pure life, which He led as an example for us to follow, and thus through Him press further within. Afterward, as exterior preoccupations disappear, one should sit in the stillness of one’s spirit in vigorous detachment, as though one is dead to one self, never leading to oneself or being one’s own goal, but having Christ alone and the honor and glory of the heavenly Father as one’s goal. Toward others, both friends and enemies, one should act humbly and friendly.

Now when the spirit, unconscious of itself, really begins to dwell in this transfigured resplendent darkness, it becomes free of all obstacles and all that is its own, as St Bernard says….This losing of self is something divine that somehow becomes all things for him….the spirit withdraws, but not completely. It takes on certain qualities of the Godhead…it does not become God….What happens…happens by grace…something created out of nothing that remains forever…as the soul is taken in, it is freed from doubt as it becomes lost when it is separated from its individuality and is joined to what is divine while being unconscious of itself….the power of resplendent divine being, the spirit is pulled upward beyond its natural capacities into the nakedness of this nothing because it is bare of creatures of any kind….The spirit loses its own knowledge because it loses itself, lacking any awareness of self and forgetting all things. And this happened when the spirit in itself turned away from the created nature of its self and all things toward the naked uncreatedness of nothingness. –Henry Suso

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Love

I am going to insistent upon exploring to the minutest detail the complications with my former spiritual partner.  It all has to do with love.  The further I go the more convinced I am correct in everything I do with her. She has been hard and demanding on me and now in return, through absolute love, I return the favor.  The love she offered, indifference actually, she defines as Godly, a love away from the perverted love my mother offered.  Her indifference is a love on the level God loves. God is pure love, above the emotional, selfish, sappy, crap I approach her with.  I have no idea how to love, thus it was her spiritual responsibility to reshape my distorted opinions on love.  Lacking emotion, getting absolutely nothing from me, in fact not even liking me as a person, at times stating she despised me, she was confident in her approach as a spiritual superior that she was capable of battering me with a higher love, pummeling me with harsh conditions, conversation, and ideas in order to reshape my understanding of a deeper love.  She would scream how if I wanted to leave her there were others who would receive her graces.  She views her interactions with others as an opportunity for those she chooses to encounter to receive blessings.  Those fortunate to receive her attention are capable of garnering special favors from God.  Where in scripture Matthew tells us that where two or three of us are gathered in His name, there He is, she discerns that due to her spiritual superiority she is the one bringing the graces to holy gatherings.  Disrespecting me, screaming at me, intentionally hurting me when she sensed romantic feelings flowering within me, stating to me she was in love romantically with various other men, telling me she was dating, she did everything she could to rattle me.  Hurting me allowed me opportunity for growth and graces.  I had to accept and endure.  She believed in me, while feeling absolutely nothing for me.  My love for her only grew.  This must read dramatic, insane even, yet it is truth, a lived reality.  It must be understood the woman is remarkably intelligent, spiritually insightful, responsible in every regard, detail oriented in life, positive attributes flow from her.  Miracles occurred in my life during my interaction with her.  Her positive attributes, my love for her, and above all God’s blessings produced phenomenal results.  However now that maturity has been firmly established within my life a new playing field is presented.  New ways dictate further growth.  Love needs further defining, and I am positive my concept of love is the correct one.   I want her to know my love.  Her concept of love is her spiritual downfall.  The more I saw it, the more signs poured in that her accepting of a romantic love between us was fundamental to her spiritual growth, the deeper in love I fell.  I am in love with her as I comprehend that love is healing for both of us.  It is not a selfish endeavor.  The love I offer is Godly in the sense it provides healing for both of us, while guiding toward a greater mutual unification in Christ.  Three in one—through, with, and in as a couple we merge with Christ, the sacrament of marriage approached on the deepest level.  I saw all this.  I knew all of this.  However she had to accept all of this.  I will never cease in my love.  Everything is too clearly laid out before me.  Where she turns to self-will and self-defense in protecting herself from a deeper love, I open my heart, becoming vulnerable, becoming weak, allowing God to witness me offering my heart in faith, hope, and charity to another.  Where she shuns emotion and passion, I point to the Song of Songs and observe God embrace these very powerful ideas.  I know cloistered men and women, St Bernard of Clairvaux leading, adore the poem of passion play between lovers.  Love is all about emotion and passion.  Her sense of indifference and scoffing at emotion is not a higher love, but a lesser love of defense and manipulation. Self-will crushing Divine Will.  All these truths are so apparent, yet if she rejects them what am I to do?  Heartbroken, I move forward the best I can.  Overwhelmed, sadness becomes a reality.  To love on the highest level does not allow you to walk away as if nothing matters, turning to others, moving away as if nothing of consequence happened.  Everything happened.  The passion play God desires to enrapture our lives within has been extinguished before it could ever truly be started.  Everything must mean something, for if it does not then where is the hope and love?  If indifference and hardness rule at its best shallowness and superficiality are achieved.  At its worst frustration, fear, hatred and other psychological dilemmas are created.  Disorder builds upon disorder.  Spiritual masters may become so immersed within such a powerful and overwhelming love for God that indifference becomes their predisposition toward all things worldly, however for those of us who are not spiritual masters I think indifference is a sign of brokenness.  I am confident that throughout my life, I have not encountered a single lay person who is a spiritual master.  Any lay person who offers indifference to their brothers and sisters under the guise of a higher love must be treated kindly, yet with great caution.  Odds are astronomical that is a person who has wreaked havoc in the lives of others throughout his or her life.

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Reflections upon Mary, the woman

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Because, doing your actions (devotion) by our Blessed Lady, as this practice teaches, you abandon your own intentions and operations, although good and known, to lose yourself, so to speak, in the intentions of the Blessed Virgin, although they are unknown. Thus you enter by participation into the sublimity of her intentions, which are so pure that she gives more glory to God by the least of her actions—for example, in twirling her distaff or pointing her needle—than St Lawrence by his cruel martyrdom on the gridiron, or even all the saints by their heroic actions put together. It was thus that, during her sojourn here below, she acquired such an unspeakable aggregate of graces and merits that it were easier to count the stars of the firmament, the drops of water in the sea or the grains of sand upon its shore, than her merits and graces –St Louis de Montfort ‘True Devotion to Mary’

What did you do here upon the earth Holy Mother that produced such splendid praise? It was more than birthing Jesus. It must concern the way you lived your life throughout your life. How did you conduct yourself? Weren’t there people who used the name of your Son improperly that upset you? There had to be times you were right, yet others perceived you being wrong? Justifiable anger, did it overwhelm you even once? Enduring the suffering of Our Savior at the hands of the Roman soldiers how could your heart not be filled with anger and hate? During His passion, did you feel only sorrow, love and compassion for your Son? How did you do it Holy Mother? Your Son, Our Lord and Savior is Divine, the Son of God, yet you were absolutely human. How could you control your emotions and feelings so peacefully?  Did prayer come naturally, purely, and easily to you?  Didn’t others frustrate you through their imperfections? Weren’t there days you were slothful in thought and action? Times you wanted to curse God? Did not the praises of Elizabeth and Simeon fill you with even the slightest arrogance? Ohh Holy Mother listen to the pleading of one devoted to you, one who fails so miserably time after time. How did you do it Holy Mother? There had to be a time when pride overwhelmed you when you contemplated who you carried within your womb? How could you not feel righteous in raising yourself in your own eyes above others? You the truest of contemplatives, how did you know how to conduct yourself as you did? Who instructed you?  Didn’t being so powerful in prayer elevate your self-esteem? False humility never plagued you? Playing the profound mystic for others never tempted you? Being admired as holy and wise never attracted you?  You never lusted after sweet consolations? The wonders you experienced how could you not be self-absorbed? How could you be in constant acquiescence to Holy will? Did you not want to teach everyone, being right about all matters regarding your Son? Did the apostles comprehend the immensity of your majesty while enjoying your company? Did the beloved disciple John recognize you would be crowned in heaven, granted reign as Queen above all queens? I know so little about your earthly life. While alive, I see you as such a simple, quiet, yet commanding woman, one who garnered profound respect with a whisper, working efficaciously behind the scenes, while never dominating the thoughts of your compatriots.  How could you be so simple, you amidst the most complex of lives? As my Holy Mother, I know you so well.  I love you so dearly. You have always been so near. How blessed it is to have you always above me, sheltering me with your loving mantle. I have never doubted your presence, even during my darkest hours.

Our Lady’s words to Juan Diego: Let not your heart be disturbed. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.

On the day after the feast of the Assumption he was again shown great joy in the court of heaven. No one was trying to gain entrance who arrived unworthy. As the servant was trying to get in, a young man came up, grabbed him by the hand, and said, “Friend, you do not belong in there at this time. Stay outside. You have incurred guilt, and before you may hear the heavenly singing, you have to make up for your misdeed”. And he led him somewhere down a crooked path into a hole under the earth. There it was dark and barren and wretched.  He could go neither this way nor that, like someone who lies captive where he can see neither sun nor moon. Finding this painful, he began to sigh and feel miserable because of his imprisonment. Soon the messenger came and asked how he was doing. “Poorly, poorly,” he replied. Then the young man said to him, “You should know that the exalted Queen of heaven is angry with you for that failing because of which you are a prisoner here”. The servant became frightened and said, “Alas, wretched me! How have I offended her?” He said, “She is angry with you because you do not like to preach about her on her feast days. And yesterday on her great feast day you refused, against the wish of your superior, to preach about her.” The servant replied, “Dear friend and lord, I think she is worthy of such great honor that I feel unequal to the task, and I leave it to the more mature and worthy (friars) because it seems to me that they can preach about her more worthily than a poor man like me”. The youth said, “Know that she would like you to do it, that she considers it a pleasing service from you. And so do not refuse anymore”. The servant began to weep and said to the young man, “Dear messenger, reconcile me to the pure Mother. I give you my word that it will never happen again”. The young man looked at him amicably, consoled him kindly, and led him out of the prison and back home. He said, “I could tell by the look on the friendly face of the Queen of heaven and by her words when she speaks of you that she forgives you. She is no longer angry with you and wants always to be like a mother to you”. Henry Suso “The Exemplar, The Life of The Servant”

Ann ease with the fighting nature. I truly had a premonition. I was concerned. Do not be so obstinate. I will approach you after mass calmly, holding to the Eucharist. If all is good say ‘do not worry’. If you struggle, please speak with me.

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Hard line approach to faith

I was thinking about a personal incident I heard a former bishop present.  The bishop made a strong formative mark upon me through a severe one-on-one reprimand he inflicted upon me.  The stout stern bishop’s kindness will never be mistaken for weakness.  He does not tolerate fools, nor is he unafraid to unabashedly declare himself.  Religion is a serious game.  Personal agendas, the exercising of masquerading and delusional self-will is to be staunched.  Nonsense standing in the way of Godly pursuits must be slapped aside.

The Bishop’s story involves landing at an airport.  Walking through the terminal, an evangelical crowd confronted him, demanding introspection, declaratively, accusingly, asking the Bishop if he truly had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Asking the question in the manner they already knew the answer to be a ‘no’.  Instantly, the Bishop clearly and loudly resounded with a ‘NO!’  ‘Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?’  ‘NO!’  Holding the moment, meeting eyes with each individual, he allowed his negation to settle.  Continuing with words, he spoke to the bold spiritually immature inquisitive crowd: ‘I have a personal relationship, through prayer, with Our Holy Mother and the Saints.  With Jesus, my Lord and Savior, I demand more.  With Christ, through humility, surrender and service, through faith, hope, and charity, I work toward unification’.

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